Preplanning
Pre-planning - part of estate planning
There are no right or wrong decisions when pre-planning your funeral. There are many choices to consider. If you are confused now and have time to mull through the options, just think how families feel when they have three days to pull everything together. When organizing a pre-planned funeral, there are things to keep in mind that help make the process go smoother. Most importantly, have an active role in the planning.
You can begin pre-planning by filling out this form.
Organizing paperwork and information
In order to file a death certificate, the information needed will be:
- Name
- Address
- Birth date and place of birth
- Mother's maiden name and father's name
- Ancestry and race
- Social Security number
- Military affiliation
- Marital status and spouse's name
- Occupation
- Years of formal education
Know what you want for funeral and cemetery arrangements
This information does not have to be complete at your first meeting with the funeral home staff. Feel free to have an appointment to discuss options and go home to review the information and discuss it with your family. Then, start with the basic information for your file and work at your own comfort level. A good pre-planning person at the funeral facility will work at the pace you are comfortable. It is not uncommon for a family member to meet with our family service department many times before everything is completed. Then, updates occur and we continue to monitor the file.
What your family should know
You should have a list showing were you owe debt, what is insured and where (includes names of companies and policy numbers) and assets. Remember to include computer passwords, safety deposit box locations and safe combinations or locations of keys. Make a list of names, address and phone numbers of those to be notified.
Have a living will and documentation if you wish to have anatomical or organ donation. Organ donation can only be done if the person is on life support at the time of death. Tissue and bone donation can still be done, even if the death has occurred and time has lapsed. You are now able to sign your own authorizations for donation and cremation. When cremation is to be done, family members that are next of kin will need to sign. For example first would be spouse. If there is no spouse, it would be children , and each child has to sign. If you have eight children and any one is living abroad, we will need to wait to receive their signature before the process can take place. If this is more than 72 hours, embalming will have to be done. Research the differences to make an informed decision.
Why we have services
Choosing a funeral is a way to recognize not only that the life has ended, but celebrates that a life has been lived. What are the traditions and values your family will need for the grief process? Personalizing a service is important, there is no right or wrong. Making this decision will relieve the burden from family members. We live in a very mobile society. Years past, families were born, raised and died in the same town as the other family members. Today, we move an average of every seven years. Planning a funeral ceremony in a few days from a distance is difficult. Often rushed decisions lead to conflict and hurt feelings that may never be resolved.
Writing an obituary
Some individuals are proud of their life's accomplishments, and want an obituary to reflect this. Others may want to be private and wish only the basic information for the public to read. However you choose, you know better than anyone the dates, places and organizations you experienced over a lifetime.
Selecting a funeral home
When selecting a funeral home, ask those who have used funeral services in the past. Visit the funeral homes and review the services offered. It is okay to visit several funeral homes to compare. All funeral homes in the area do services for all faiths and offer cremation. Each place is different in style and has different staff. You will be able to decide if the staff is compatible with your family and their personalities. Is the facility comfortable? Can your service be personalized and will your wishes be accommodated?
Reading the price list
Minnesota and North Dakota have different rules when price lists of goods and services are involved. The state of Minnesota must itemize all items individually. North Dakota must itemize also, but can offer packages at a discount. This can be in the best interest of the consumer.
When you compare prices of funeral services, remember to compare item for item, and include all items in a package, add together itemized items. For example, are memorial folders, thank you cards and the hairdresser included in the package, or are they purchased outside of the facility? Remember to include items such as cars and mileage.
Funeral home services cover the cost of funeral directors, staff and any services they provide. Cemetery items are casket, vault, urn, open and closing of a grave, cemetery lots and markers. Cash advance items are monies paid to other people on your behalf. You dictate the amount you wish to spend or the services you wish to have provided. They are not part of the funeral home's charges. An example is flowers, clergy honorariums, lunch costs or cremation process fees.
If you pre-pay your services, make sure the funeral home will guarantee that they will not bill your family more at the time of death. If they tell you no, or want to charge you more, keep looking. Price guarantees can be done and are done. You will find three options available. Ask for an overview so you know which option is best for you.
- Bank account
- Trust account
- Insurance policy
Many places prefer the insurance policy because the growth can be substantial and will keep up with inflation. Money you assign for funeral expenses will be put into a tool protected by FDIC or the insurance commission. You can not give the money to the funeral home to put into their account. This is for your protection. All funds must be transferable to a funeral home of your choice and you will receive 100% of what you deposited, plus earnings. The states of Minnesota and North Dakota are two of the top ten states for pre-funding funerals.
Research what information your family will need to know, find out your options, educate yourself and you will be able to choose wisely. Your family will thank you for relieving them of the responsibility. You can leave your legacy with happy thoughts and a message of "I love you".
What to do when death is expected
There are many different decisions that need to be made when death is imminent. Most of the choices concerning burial can be made ahead of time and kept on file at a funeral home. You have the option of going over a complete list of services and items available to you and you may also pre-pay. For more information on what to do when death is expected, consult your local funeral home.
When a death occurs suddenly
When a death occurs in the home, at work or any place medical personnel is not present, you should immediately dial 911. You must clearly state the location, type of emergency, and if the loved one is apparently dead at the time of the call. Fire personnel and paramedics will be dispatched and, in most cities, a police officer or detective is sent to the location. Any death occurring without a physician or medical personnel in attendance must be reported to the police. You may want to call family, friends, or a member of the clergy to sit with you while the medical staff and police ask you questions.
If the deceased was recently treated for an illness or disease, you'll want to call his or her doctor. For those actively involved in a hospice or home health care program, the family members are given instructions and procedures to follow when death occurs. Instead of dialing 911, they will call a hospice or home health care staff member who will confirm that a death has occurred and will then call the mortuary and the physician on the family's behalf.
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